Expectations..

Everyone expects me to be sumthing I'm not.. I can't be perfect.. Everything demands every part of me that I'm not.. I change for the sake of everything.. I feel like I'm trapped in my a shell.. I can't get out but I have to live with it.. So many damn things.. A gal I shall not name, fought with me for sum petty shit.. Oh come on la.. Like she's so perfect.. She has a so called 'boyfriend' and yet flirts.. Coz of her, my fren is avoiding him (she was really close frens with her 'boyfren').. My fren's reason, I dun want her to hate me and I dun want him to get in trouble with her again. I find it so unfair to him.. Coz of the gal i shall not name, she doesn't want to talk to him.. and the worse part bout it.. They were best frens since they were small and after bout 7 years they got to in contact again and started to talk to each other again den now dis.. Haiz.. And I'm finding all my seniors all to be so demanding.. COME ON LA!! No matter how hard we try we're still not gud enough.. And they said not to gossip behind their backs, when I tell them wat i thought bout them, they bombed me back.. Damn la!! Stupid rite? Haiz. But wat can I do, their my seniors..

Besides that, I found out that 2 of my close frens talked behind me back.. At least one of them came and told me the truth and asked for forgiveness, but I guess the other one doesn't really care.. But to tell u the truth, I'm not excatly suprised by dis.. I adi expected to be betrayed not by them but by sumone la.. And one of my close fren, I guess he's too busy with his gf or sum other stuff, but I'm actually avoiding him and kinda pissed off at him..I dun even think he noticed it.. I guess I'm tat unimportant that its not really bothering him.. PERFECT AIN'T IT? I'm almost invinsible to him in school.. Well whether he actually notices me or not I still feel tat way around him in school.. So invinsible, so unimportant..

ARGH!!!! I'll write bout the other stuff 2moro.. No mood.. I really feel like I'm breaking into a million pieces..

Signing off,
`-LaInA BaNaNa-` = n grrrrrr